Day 45: Ljubljana - Vienna

A pretty frustrating day; I'm in Vienna, and haven't formed any impression of it yet because all my time so far has been spent finding food and lodging.
Took a slow train route from Ljubljana to Vienna to make the most of my railpass, which doesn't cover Slovenia.
Yet more spectacular Alpine scenery.
Arrived in Vienna; couldn't figure out the subway; accidentally got on a tram; walked a long way and eventually found the hostel I'd booked. No-one there; I call the owner, she said my reservation was for yesterday, and she's given my bed to someone else.
Walked to another hostel, got a bed, set down my stuff nine hours after leaving Ljubljana.
Went looking for a supermarket; found one after much searching and bought stuff for the next two dinners. Back to the hostel - they don't have a kitchen. My groceries are useless. They have a restaurant which stops serving at 7. It's 7:15. Go looking for takeaway food, find nothing but McDonalds. What kind of a YHA doesn't have a kitchen?
Blegh. Vienna bloody well better be worth today.

Day 44: Bled - Ljubljana

Last night, met three Kiwis and an Aussie in the pub below the hostel - Logan, Toni, Janet and Hamish. Ended up having dinner together - I got "turkey Ljubljana style," which turned out to be a turkey cordon-bleu.
Today, Janet and I went for a hike out to Vintgar Gorge. Passed through lovely countryside and a couple of villages between Bled and the start of the gorge, and spotted Slovenia's highest mountain, already capped with snow.
The gorge itself was spectacularly beautiful, with a wooden walkway clinging to the rocky walls of the gorge, zigzagging over the rapids below. The river water was amazingly clear, and we took great delight in watching fish swim below us.
The return walk to Bled took us over a steep hill through a forest, gave us some lovely views of the area before leading back to Bled. Probably the nicest three hours I've ever spent walking.
Now back in Ljubljana, at the uber-hostel Celica again, before hopping up to Vienna tomorrow.

Day 43: Ljubljana - Bled

Finally got out of cities and into some peace and nature, in the utterly lovely Bled. Bled is a little town on Lake Bled, naturally enough, with a magic combination of mountains, a castle, and a tiny church on a tiny island (amazingly, the only island in all of Slovenia). It's definitely one of the most idyllically scenic places in Europe. Best of all, it hasn't quite been discovered by the tourist hordes. Almost, but not quite.
Spent the day making a leisurely lap of the lake, spotting tits, squirrels, and fish along the way (in the remarkably clear water). Took a detour for a hike up one of the peaks. Really pretty forest, and a pretty steep climb. Back to the lake, kept on going to the castle, which, being perched on top of a very sheer cliff, is another bloody steep climb from the lake. Castle was interesting, but again, it was the views that made it worthwhile. Could anywhere be any more postcard perfect?

Day 42: Venice - Ljubljana

Picturesque; that characterises today's travels. That, and a bloody long wait for a train, and possibly my favourite city yet.
Took a train from Venice to Villach, a small town in Austria and a surprising rail hub, through some gobsmacking Alpine scenery. The peaks were towering, sure, but what really got me about the nicest views I've yet seen were the colours. It's peak autumn, so the forests were ablaze with as much colour as anything I saw in Japan. The many streams and rivers were even more striking - a stunning turquoise blue you only get in the purest mountain water.
My train arrived at Villach at 12:04, a train left for Ljubljana at 12:02, and the next one left at 15:55. Bloody stupid timetabling.
The Villach to Ljubljana is more alpine loveliness, with more villages and crops, making it less dramatic, but more detailed and just as picturesque.
I'm staying at possibly the world's nicest hostel, Celica. It's famed for being a converted prison, but it's the design, arty features and facilities that make it great - after all, Mt Gambier already did the jail-hostel thing.
Ljubljana, meanwhile, is simply lovely. Some of the usual stuff - pretty old buildings, nice bars and restaurants, lots of pedestrian streets, scenic river, hilltop castle - but it's so much more intimate, unpretentious, non-touristy and cheaper than the other big cities. Not Asia-cheap, but cheap enough to notice the difference. It feels like a little treasure the Slovenes have all to themselves.

Day 41: Venice

In Venice, since there aren't any cars and all the museums are really expensive, I spent the day walking. A lot. Of course, that's the way to do Venice, since its maze of bridges and canals makes it pretty damn hard to just go from Big Attraction A to Big Attraction B. So I wandered about, covered most of the length of the island, saw a lot of the big palaces and churches, but only went into two (because of high prices, queues, or being in religious use). Went to Piazza San Marco, which is beautiful, of course, but frustratingly packed with tour groups and pigeons. Seriously, there's more pigeons there than I've ever seen, and they seem more like rats-with-wings than usual. Whick makes me think - people hate rats, but feed pigeons and let them perch on their heads, so... I dunno. They're both disease-ridden feral animals.
Once you get over the beauty of Venice, its supreme oddness start to get to you; the way the buildings rise directly out of the water, the waves lopping dangerously close to street level, and the smell that comes from being a city built on a network of stagnant, briny water. When the city was founded, it must have sounded like a disaster - "let's build a city on a swamp in the middle of a lagoon" indeed.
The other thing about walking around Venice is that you get bloody tired. So I quit and went back to dull Mestre for an early night.

Day 40: Rimini - Venice

Today was largely a train day; from Rimini to Bologna to Venice. Pleasant scenery along the way, though Italy certainly has a high density - the whole route was never out of sight of a village.
Staying in Mestre, sometimes called "the modern city of Venice," meaning it's the rather dull, suburban mainland city serving Venice. After checking in at the hotel (cheaper than the hostel), I went straight to Venice, for a sneak preview of tomorrow, my designated Venice Day.
I think it's safe to say that there's nothing quite like Venice in the whole world. It's a gorgeous maze of colourful buildings, squares, canals and bridges, and it's a delight to lose yourself and find yourself in the midst of it. One especially striking thing is how quiet it is - the entire city is, after all, devoid of cars, motorbikes and trains. I just wandered today, avoiding the main sights for tomorrow. I can't wait.

Day 39: Rome - San Marino / Rimini

In San Marino, everything is labelled "Republicca di San Marino," otherwise you might forget you're in a whole different country. The world's oldest republic, actually, and my fourth silly microstate.
The town of San Marino is an old walled fortress, perched precariously on a mountaintop, overlooking the rest of the country. There are nice views, and cute cobblestone streets, but not much else. Weirdly, there are lots of shops selling guns, crossbows, swords, etc - maybe you can own them, but not buy them in Italy?
More obscure stamp and postcard collecting aside, not much happened today. Staying in Rimini, pretty beach resort town, very quiet because of the first real rain on this whole trip.

Day 38: Rome

Mopped up the remaining sights of Rome today. Started with the Roman Forum, where I paid for my first audio guide, which was just as well, since there's absolutely no information provided. The remains of the temples, houses, etc are fascinating, especially those later converted to churches (the best preserved) and the home of the Vestal Virgins. Stopped by the Colosseum again for a cow-shot.
There's absolutely nothing left of the Circus Maximus. Don't bother.
Found my way to the happiest place on Earth - a gelateria with over 100 flavours. Baskin Robbins think they're great with 31. They got nothin'.
Wandered through another huge piazza with another huge Egyptian column, leading to the Corso, with its fabulous, stupidly expensive shops. Then back to the hostel for an early night (early train tomorrow).

Day 37: Rome

Street-for-street, Rome is prettier than Paris. On the downside, the Tiber is dirty and all the sights are swarming with tourists. Also, my complete lack of Italian makes me feel like a moron.
Began the day with a 90-minute queue to get into the Vatican Museums. Once inside the world's smallest country, I could see the origin of the phrase "an embarrassment of riches." Besides their beauty and history, the museums (and the Vatican generally) are astoundingly wealthy, absolutely littered with sculpture, paintings and tapestries. Eventually followed the crowds to the Sistine Chapel, a neck-aching lesson in Biblical history. Not a single spot of the walls and ceiling are left unpainted. Went to the museum of early Christian history, and it was completely empty. This is what happens when you veer ever so slightly off the tourist trail.
Went back to Italy and then into the Vatican again to visit St Peter's. Before the Basicilia, I saw the Papal Tombs, including John Paul II's. The Basilica itself is enormous and beautiful, and has nicely crafted windows letting in picturesque shafts of light which add to the serenity.
Returning to Italy again, I caught up on some of yesterday's sights, mostly just to take photos; the Pantheon, the Trevi Fountain and the Spanish Steps. Apparently, the Pantheon's dome is such a marvel of architecture that it could not be replicated, even with modern technology.
Had another gelato. I may be developing an addiction.

Day 36: Rome

There aren't any public toilets in Rome, which proved surprisingly significant today.
First of all, the Nice - Rome train was the slowest I've ever been on - worse than the Tsuyama Line - and it was a solid twelve hour trip.
Arrived in Rome, checked into a nice hostel, strolled down to the Colosseum. Camera batteries died, and I refuse to pay seven euros for batteries, so no more photos. Didn't go inside the Colosseum - was advised not to bother, and the crowds were pretty off-putting.
Strolled through the Roman Forum, which looks amazing, but since I came in the wrong end without pamphlets, I didn't know what anything was.
Needed a loo, and with no camera and being very tired, I decided that whatever I saw today, I would come back and see again.
The search for a loo was an epic tale. The museum must have a loo - costs ten euros to get in. Well the Pantheon must have one - nope. Surely, the Trevi Fountain? Nope. McDonalds! Broken. Much, much later, found a Burger King, relieved myself, and went back to the Trevi Fountain for gelati.
Wandered the streets aimlessly for a while - after all, it's Rome, every street has something beautiful to see. Saw lots of pretty old buildings, steps, plazas, streets - didn't know the names of anything (nothing too important, though).
And odd start to Rome. Will rant about how wonderful it is tomorrow, when I have a proper look.

Day 35: Nice / Monaco

Nice seems like a really nice city, but I didn't really find out, because I spent the day in Monaco instead.
Monaco is a nation as microscopic, immaculate fantasy-land. Its narrow, steep streets and parks are perfectly groomed, its marinas fully brthed with luxury yachts and its pocket-sized palace is well-suited to a ruler of 20,000 people.
Some things you notice about Monaco: it's very steep, hence all the lifts and escalators; it's architecturally-crowded but doesn't feel people-crowded; and it has a gorgeous setting - really, it's just gorgeous in general.
My first stop was the Musee Oceanographique and aquarium. It was nice and had some cool small-scale feature species like nautilus, morays, garden eels and scorpionfish, rather than the big-name stars of Osaka.
Walked past the cathedral and the palace, and eventually made it to the Jardin Exotique (which is a bloody hike, what with all the stairs and steep streets). It's a garden of desert plants, and is pretty neat, and has great views, but wasn't really worth the 6 euros.
Next, trekked downhill to the casino, which is fancy and glamourous and all that, but I couldn't go inside.
Went back to Nice, and made time to take a look at the beach. It's nice (no pun intended), and the coast between Nice and Monaco is spectacular, but the beaches themselves (not counting the water, cliffs, and surrounding scenery) aren't that great. We have better.

Day 34: Tangier - Madrid - Nice

A full travel day. Left Tangier, flew to Madrid. Spent about two hours in Madrid, and it seems nice, as far as I can tell from having only seen a few blocks of it. Now awaiting flight to Nice, for a very late hostel check-in. Looking forward to a hot shower and possibly clean clothes tomorrow.

Day 33: Fes - Tangier

My third train day in Morocco. Took the train to Tangier, and arrived very hungry because Ramadan meant nothing was open in the morning so no food for me.
Tangier has a pretty beachfront, but both the medina and the ville nouvelle felt pretty sketchy.
Stayed in a fleabag hotel that wasn't even worth the 100Dh (A$14) I paid. Was escorted there by a guy who said "there are dangerous people about - don't leave your room." He wanted to join me for dinner but he seemed pretty sketchy too, so I turned him down.
Whilst walking around Tangier, a very sketchy guy started following me, first offering hashish, then wallets, then just asking for money.
Later, Sketchy Man #1 came to my room, wanting to meet me in the morning. I said 9:00, but intend to leave at 8:30, because I don't like Sketchy Man #1. Then:
SM1: Okay, now you buy me a coffee. 20 dirham.
Me: A coffee doesn't cost 20 dirham.
SM1: yes, but a coffee and a something something...
(much pointless negotiating)
Me: Fine, I'll give you 20 dirham just to leave me alone!
Well, I didn't say the last part, but I thought it.

Day 32: Fes

Fes is the world's largest medina, and it's a good thing I had a guide and two travel buddies to navigate it. Besides being a befuddling maze, it's completely fascinating, and needs to be on any must-see-before-you-die list.
At the Fes hostel last night I met, besides Nancy, another Australian, a Hong Konger, a Frenchman and a Croatian couple. We spent the evening together, and this morning, the Europeans took one guide together whilst Rob (the other Australian) joined Nancy and I and our guide, Hussein.
Hussein showed us the Royal Palace and the Jewish Quarter before plunging into the medina proper. From there, it was a procession of medersas, mosques, shops, and the (in)famous tanneries, which don't actually smell as bad as you might imagine.
There's a lot that distinguishes Fes from the other Moroccan medinas; no cars or bikes, so less noise but more horses and mules; much narrower streets and more steps; less tourists, bigger crowds of locals (about 300,000 residents); less dust (countryside is comparatively lush); more nice - though small - squares, some even with trees; and more of the five original medina services remain intact - hammam, mosque, medersa, fountain and bread oven.
There was a lot of shopping - mostly by Nancy, who is an impressive bargainer. Actually it was good being with two older travellers - the shopkeepers focused on them and completely ignored me, as I preferred.
Midway through our medina wandering, we were dropped off by Hussein for lunch at a gorgeous restaurant. Our tajines were expensive, but they came with an entree of fourteen different vegetable hors d'oeuvres and a fruit platter included in the price. I doubt I'll have a better meal on this whole trip.
Fes is completely remarkable. Go see it.

Day 31: Casablanca - Fes

Probably less happened today than on any day of the trip so far. Took the train from Casablanca to Fes; between my getting to the station far too early and the train being late, that took up the bulk of the day. Casablanca - Fes is much more scenic than Marrakesh - Casablanca; quite Mediterranean, actually looked just like South Australia sometimes.
Arrived in Fes and checked into the hostel whereupon a familiar face appeared behind me - Nancy, who I met yesterday.
Wandered Fes’s Ville Nouvelle for the rest of the afternoon / evening, because the hostel closed from 4 to 8 and I couldn’t go to the medina. Fes’s Ville Nouvelle is the nicest of the three so far; broad avenues, plenty of trees, and comparatively little rubbish.
Spent ages looking for somewhere to eat, and again, the only thing I found open was a place serving that Ramadan fast-breaking dinner. Still, it’s cheap, tasty and filling, so what’s not to like about that?

Day 30: Marrakesh - Casablanca

Wow. The things that happened today seem sort of disconnected from each other, so I'll try dotpoints today.
1) Moroccan trains are quite nice, but the rowdy, obnoxious guys sharing my compartment were not.
2) The Marrakesh - Casablanca scenery is completely desolate. Couldn't call it pretty. The emptiness is sort of striking, though.
3) Casablanca is a world away from Marrakesh: ocean, big modern buildings, more Western dress. Very dirty, though.
4) Met a nice Kiwi / Canadian lady, Nancy. She asked me for directions to the Hassan II Mosque (which is astonishing), we went together, and we're getting the same train to Fes tomorrow.
5) Had a traditional Ramadan dinner, by accident. Went into the only open restaurant I could find. Noticed everyone was Moroccan and eating the same thing. Food arrived without ordering - spicy lentil soup, bread, boiled eggs, orange juice, coffee.
A good day, then.

Day 29: Marrakesh

Marrakesh continues to reveal itself as I become less baffled.
Started with the Jardin Majorelle, and the Islamic Art Museum, possibly the only air-conditioned building in Marrakesh. A nice, peaceful retreat.
Walked the long walk to Djemma el-Fna. Was interrupted by a very persistent would-be guide who told me I was going the wrong way. "But I came this way the past two days," I replied. He gave up. Would-be guides love to tell you that a) you're going the wrong way, or b) the way you're going is closed. It helps to actually know where you're going.
Had a yummy milkshake and pastry near Djemma el-Fna.
Went to the Moroccan Arts Museum in Dar Si Said. Pretty underwhelming museum, but the building was nice.
Went home for a nap, then hit Djemma el-Fna again for dinner. Went into the core of the souks for the first time. Really cool but hardly relaxing.
Last observation: Moroccan women generally look more fashionable - and definitely more comfortable, given the climate - than tourist women. There's also a definite middle class of modern, confident women who look incredibly chic.

Day 28: Marrakesh

Began today confused over time - turned out I hadn't put my watch back the required two hours, thus explaining some confusion from yesterday.
Walked to the Ville Nouvelle, which is much more peaceful and navigable than the medina, but also much hotter (no shade) and quite boring, really. Walked back to Djemma el-Fna and had a late brunch just off the square.
Walked towards the Kasbah to visit two palaces. Palais de la Bahia was built in the 19th century, and has lots of beautiful courtyards and tilework - lots and lots of colour. Palais el Badi is much grander, far older, and completely stripped bare. It's in ruins, but they're impressive ruins, and great fun to explore. Also, lots of nesting storks, very neat. Also lots of tour groups, and I imagine that Morocco would be a very awkward place for group tourism.
Went back to Djemma el-Fna for a milkshake and some errands.
Returned to the Kasbah looking for the Saadian Tombs. Saw a sign, which I followed, which led me into some guy's shop, and spewed me out in a random back alley. A nice boy took me to the tombs, and I gladly gave him some money, since he actually took me somewhere, unlike everyone else thus far. The tombs had some more pretty tile-work, but not much else.
Was pushed into a herbalist shop where I told a lady I couldn't buy anything because of Australian quarantine. There was actually a poster from the Australian quarantine office one the wall that said otherwise. Heh heh.
Went home for a rest, then back to Djemma el-Fna - again - for dinner. Dinner was lovely but took a bloody age to come. Walked home, didn't get lost. Morocco already feels much more manageable.

Day 27: Barcelona - Marrakesh

Mental note: when arriving in Morocco, have your hotel's phone number and address in Arabic. Also, I only just made both my flights out of Barcelona and Madrid. Barcelona airport is slow. Also, you can't get dirhams in Spain or change Australian dollars in Morocco.
My arrival in Marrakesh was stressful and chaotic, to say the least. A taxi driver dropped me off near my riad (guesthouse), then, in short, it took three guides and an hour of wandering the streets with my luggage to find the place. Good thing it's completely lovely, all rugs, couches, and frankly astonishing tiling that I guess is just typical here.
After some recovery time, I explored the souks, heading towards the main square, Djemma el-Fna. Moroccan streets are like what happens without any planning whatsoever - crowded, haphazard, completely fascinating, and utterly confusing - you could compare it with a maze, but at least a maze has a solution.
I reached Djemma el-Fna, which was quiet when I arrived, but as the sun set, it filled with food stalls, orange juice stands, henna painters, musicians and more (though none of the acrobats and snake charmers promised by Lonely Planet). Had dinner at one of the stands. Was a living ad for the owners: "look! There's a eating here, it's safe!"
Walked home, promptly got lost. After a while, reluctantly enlisted help. My guide took me to the wrong place at first, then took me back to where we started and told me directions. After much negotiating, I was scammed out of 150Dh (about A$20). Finally got home feeling overwhelmed and a bit defeated. Will get a better map tomorrow and avoid navigating through the souks.

Day 26: Barcelona

Overheard in the Sagrada Familia:
"This is what I paid seven pounds for? Is this it?"
Yes, wench, you paid seven pounds (actually eight euros, which I'm sure doesn't convert to seven pounds, but anyway) to see one of the most remarkable buildings in the world. Now go away.
The Sagrada Familia is remarkable, and a lifetime must-see sort of thing. It's truly unique - massive though not as big as some cathedrals, devoid of painting or sculpture (unless you count the building itself) - it is amazing for its ambition, its use of shapes and surfaces found in living things rather than buildings, and because the bloody thing's only half-finished. Yes, it's definitely the world's most beautiful construction site.
A lift takes you part-way up one of the towers, from where you can climb to the top of that tower and a couple more. I was in line to go up that damn lift for over an hour, but blimey, it was worth it.
Next, I went to Parc Guell, accurately described by Lonely Planet as somewhere Dr Seuss would feel at home. Organic curves, colour, and an unbridled imagination are the order of the day with the paths, fountains, terraces and buildings there. Marvellous, but a bloody hike to get to.
Staying at a dirt-cheap hostel, which is nice enough but miles and miles from anywhere. Still, free internet and breakfast for 10 euros, can't complain.

Day 25: Andorra-la-vella - Barcelona

Goodness, what a day. The Pyrenees are pretty, cheap accommodation is hard to find, and La Rambla is the coolest street in the world.
Started the day with a lovely bus ride through the Pyrenees from Andorra-la-vella - lots of nice churches and farms, and more lofty peaks. Got to Barcelona and hit a snag - everywhere was full. After an hour of phone and internet, found one place, for 117 euros. Beyond the budget, but nothing for it. Found the hotel, very nice, watched Grey's Anatomy dubbed in German.
Hopped online, found somewhere for tomorrow for 10 euros. Slight difference.
Went to La Rambla - officially the coolest street in the world. Street performers, pet shops, florists, market stalls, artists - generally in that order. And people, thousands and thousands of people. Everyone looks very laid-back and hip. Brilliant people-watching.
Went to the Central Market along the way - very packed, the seafood and butchers were fascinatingly gross. One butcher just sold organs, as well as sheep heads. Saw a lobster make a getaway - it got to the far end of the cabinet, then wasn't sure what to do. Also, rabbits and chickens are sold with heads still attached, and the prosciutto has trotters.
At the end of La Rambla, on the waterfront, there was some kind of marine-themed festival / parade going on, with crazy costumes and giant inflatable sharks. Also nearby - a wine-tasting festival and some really cool antique stands.
Barcelona is so full of life and energy - and I've only seen one street.

Day 24: Toulouse - Andorra-la-vella

Andorra is Bizarroworld, and that justs about sums it up.
First, the hotel guy in Toulouse was wrong, there aren't frequent buses from l'Hospitalet to Andorra - there's one, at 7:30am. And since the first train arrives in l'Hospitalet at 9:00am, what's the bloody point in that?
So, in short, got stuck in a tiny village in the middle of the French Pyrenees. Tried to hitch a ride, stood near two gypsy-looking ladies for company. One went to look for a taxi, and came back with a mechanic and his car. The four of us drove to the Andorran border together, 12km away.
It's uncanny - you travel through the mountains for a couple of hours, with less development and smaller villages the higher you go, eventually dwindling to nothing but bare mountainside, then just a few metres after the Andorran border, there's a duty-free shopping mall. Then a ski resort. Then some cranes building a new hotel. Then another mall. And that's about it, all the way along the only major road in the country.
Andorra-la-vella is the size of Mt Gambier, but has shops and hotels to fill Adelaide. It's squashed between gorgeous, tall mountains, and the parliament building is smaller than that religious museum in Glasgow - and it's the only old building in town. That sums up Andorra-la-vella, and I spent the afternoon walking around, soaking up the oddness of it all.
Last note - saw cans of Kronenbourg for 40 cents in the shops - may have to treat myself to a beer tonight.

Day 23: Paris - Toulouse

Before the day even really starts, a story on the perils of hostels: when I went to bed last night, I was the only one in the room - I presumed some others would be arriving late. I was woken up by the reception-desk guy who told me I had to move to another room - a group of Germans had booked the whole room, and no-one thought to tell me about the change. Presumably the Germans called staff upon finding a stranger asleep in the room! So, I dressed, packed, moved to the new room where I woke a middle-aged Italian lady who apparently thought she had booked a private room.
Now on the train to Toulouse, and budget aside, looking forward to a private room tonight.

Thank all the heavens there aren't any hostels in Toulouse: it's forced me to get a hotel for the night, and it's a nice change from the patience-trying Paris hostels. Also - shock! - the owner praised my French, so brownie points for me.
Toulouse is lovely - lots of trees, pedestrian streets, pretty buildings - and less of a superiority complex than Paris, I'll bet. Cheaper too. I should stay longer. The scenery on the long train ride here was beautiful, especially after Limoges. Lots of forested rolling hills and precariously perched villages. It confirmed in my mind that Australia really is a) flat and b) devoid of people.

Day 22: Paris

1. The French hate me. I paid at a café with coins, and when the waiter asked for "le service," I pretended to not understand and ran away. "'Le service,' qu'est-ce que c'est? Je ne comprends pas..."
2. To all Americans: you are not the only English-speakers in the world. An American asked me to take "un photo, s'il vous plait." When I answered in English, he said, "oh, you're American!" I corrected him, and he said, "well, you speak good English." Ugh.
This and more happened on a trip to Versailles, the biggest, busiest and most expensive tourist spot in Paris. First of all, the crowds were truly monstrous, as were the gardens. The gardens are all about size - big hedges, big ponds, big lawns, big fountains, lots of statues. There aren't many details or cosy corners - actually there are a couple, but they're pretty hard to find.
It took me forever to figure out how to actually get into the palace - when I did, I was suitably wowed. It's Chatsworth plus the Louvre and multiplied a few times, more or less. Astonishingly opulent. No wonder the French peasantry revolted. Not much more to say - it's very big and very, very fancy.
Trained back to Paris proper, and went for a walk from the Jardin du Luxembourg (which is lovely) to la Tour Montparnasse - notable for being the only skyscraper in central Paris.
Had a rest back in the hostel before going for a walk up the street, and am glad I did - it's noisy, dirty and uncouth - decidedly un-Parisian. Also found a little market that's 90% African and Maghreb. Lots of these folks are straight out of Senegal/Mali/Algeria etc, so lots of languages, lots of colours, and lots of noise.

Day 21: Paris

The street corner outside my hostel is really crazy in the evenings: crowds of mostly Arab guys selling cigarettes, watches and jewellery out of their pockets, or generally just milling around and making a racket. With the quiet charm of Montmartre just around the corner, it's a fun contrast.
Spent a lot of time on the metro today, zipping from one sight to another. First, went to the Centre Georges Pompidou, which was crazy and ugly, and also closed. So, went to the Pantheon instead. The Pantheon is basically an enormous classically-styled hall, sparsely decorated with sculpture and paintings, as well as Foucault's Pendulum.
Next, went back to Montmartre looking for my one French café lunch. Dealt with the staff bilingually (better than most Parisians, who are like, "oh, a foreigner - no French for you, then). Committed cardinal sin by ordering coffee instead of wine - I say their fault for not selling wine by the glass. Overall, lovely lunch.
Last stop, la Musée d’Orsay, home of impressionism. Rooms devoted to Van Gogh, Monet, Cézanne, Matisse, Toulouse-Lautrec, among others. Saw most of the impressionist paintings that I know. On the downside, the worst crowds I've seen yet in Paris - the Van Gogh room was an especially maddenning crush.
Had a lovely, long walk back to the hostel, taking in lots of Paris streets on the way. Parisian streets really are full of cafés, boulangeries, patisseries, fromageries, fancy shops, and grand, beautiful buildings - the stereotypes are true.
Going to go look at the Moulin Rouge tonight, and will actually get there, unlike last night's aborted attempt, wearing thongs in the rain. Whoops.

Day 20: Paris

I saw the French president today, completely by accident. I was walking past the Palais de Chaillot and saw a big crowd milling around a door, so I figured someone important was coming out. Turned out I was right.
Started the day at the Eiffel Tower, as was required by my being a tourist. Climbed a honkload of stairs to the first and second floors. It's bloody huge, even bigger than I had imagined. Great fun playing spot-the-monument when looking at the Paris skyline. The Eiffel Tower is BIG, y'all. What else is there to say?
Crossed the Seine, saw the president, walked to the Arc de Triomphe, in the middle of the world's biggest roundabout, which means lots of traffic. The Arc is also huge (surprise!) and has a lot of memorial bits and bobs - most interestingly, a plaque commemorating the return of Alsace and Lorraine to France, and the tomb of the unknown soldier.
Next, strolled down the Champs Elysees. Lots of glamourous shops, none of which I bothered to enter. Ended up on the Place de la Concorde, which, despite the very cool Egyptian Obelisk and ferris wheel, is mostly concrete and traffic, hence, not all that pretty.
Wandered to the Musée d’Orsay, but it's closed on Mondays. Instead, went to the Natural History Museum, but it cost 8 euros for just one hall, and there was only one hour left anyway, so I declined and ended the sightseeing there.
Paris has lots of well-groomed dogs, scooters and nice haircuts. Paris has no kombinis or ice coffees - this is une vraie tragedie!

Day 19: Paris

It's a bitch getting around the Louvre, but it's absolutely worth it.
So I'm in Paris, the city I've always wanted to go to moreso than anywhere else. It's very complicated, everyone seems important, and every street is a revelation.
Began with a pastry breakfast in front of the Basilique Sacré Coeur, thinking to myself, "I am sitting in front of the Sacré Coeur, how cool ist that?" Wandered Montmartre, which is utterly charming and surprisingly quiet and tourist-free, mostly. Kept thinking of Amélie, but couldn't find Les Deux Moulins.
Next stop, Nôtre Dame, via the Hôtel de Ville. Nôtre Dame is spectacular, of course, but there was a service on, so I felt a little intrusive. Also, when it says no photos, it means NO PHOTOS, you buggers. Man, I can't stand it when tourists can't follow simple rules.
Finally, crossed the Pont Neuf, stopped at a Starbucks (my excuse - Parisian cafés don't do iced coffees) and went to the Louvre. The swarms go straight to the Mona Lisa, but for me, the most important piece is Hammurabi's Code - which no-one else was visiting. Also seen: the Venus de Milo, Raft of the Medusa, and Napoleon III's apartments. It's an astoundingly gorgeous place, what more can you say?

Day 18: Bonsall - Paris

Spent the day on trains, first Matlock - Derby, then Derby - London, then London - Paris. The Tube is really bloody expensive if you buy tickets one at a time. Also, the local English trains are nicer than the Eurostar. In principle, getting the train from London to Paris is really cool, but in practice, it's no better than any other train.
Will write about Paris tomorrow. For now, staying on a nice street in a weird place with no pillows. Also, French supermarkets are neat and have lots of cheese.

Day 17: Bonsall

Spent a quite relaxing day around Bonsall / Cromford / Matlock. Walked with Adam along yet another gorgeous country path to the Arkwright Mills, the "birthplace of the Industrial Revolution." Walked along the canal once used to ferry goods from the mills to Derby, and saw both a grebe and a water vole. Let me repeat that, because it really is that cool: a grebe and a water vole.
Had lunch, spent ages browsing a brilliant old bookstore in Cromford. Walked home, taking many glamour shots along the way.
Later, went to the movies with Sophie and Saran. Saw Superbad, not really my cup of tea, but better than a kick in the head.

Day 16: Bonsall

Today went to Chatsworth House with Sophie, an incredibly grand and opulent place surrounded by equally opulent gardens. Found another level of appreciation of both England's beauty and incredible human density, given that even in this most rural and scenic part of the country, there's still a town over every hill.
The gardens were incredible, featuring among other things a seemingly impossible maze, a crazy rock garden, a grand cascading fountain in the middle, and some very bold ducks. The house itself was quite ridiculously opulent, packed to the gills with art and best of all, still set up as if it was lived in, down to the made bed and set dinner table.
Also, Bonsall is still pretty.

Day 15: Bonsall

Continue to be impressed by the prettiness of Bonsall and surrounds. Today, went to the Heights of Abraham, a local tourist attraction of cable car, two mines / caves, funky ropes course and the usual facilities. Adam and Sophie used to work here, so everything was free, leading to a daily budget total of one shiny pound. Competed in a rope course time trial, which Sophie won (save for a penalty for not being able to reach something). Went in both caves - got a private tour of the sceond one, including some sort of staff-only, off-the-beaten track bits of the cave, which was really neat. Took the cable car down and walked through Matlock Bath and Cromford. Bonsall feels like the middle of nowhere but there's an awful lot of stuff around it.
Met a bunch of Adam and Sophie's friends at a party at their friend Saran's place, starring her very fancy spa. Have learned that the best way to dry off after a spa bath is by trampoline.

Day 14: Bonsall

I'm at Adam's cottage in idyllic Derbyshire, and it's just about the loveliest place I've ever been. It's the English countryside we'd like to imagine exists, though in this case, of course, it actually does.
Began the day getting lost in Derby and almost missing the train to Matlock. "'Bout three islands over dat way," the bus driver explained when I asked for directions to the train station. I made it just as the doors were closing.
After a very scenic train ride, got to Matlock and met Adam. Hiked uphill to Bonsall. Went out for lunch, took the very scenic route back home again. Not much to say besides how beautiful it is around here. The lush green pastures, sheep, horses, cattle, crumbling stone walls, perfect little cottages and farmhouses. I could certainly live here, that's for sure.

Day 13: Glasgow

Spent the day around Glasgow before the epic, rather torturous bus ride to Derbyshire which still isn't over. Glasgow is nice, pleasant, but not as special as Edinburgh. There's nothing wrong with it, but there's nothing particularly spectacular about it either. It's not a Gold Star city like I think Edinburgh is.
Nevertheless, had a nice wander around the shops before a long-awaited pasty lunch. Walked to St Mungo's Museum of Religious Life and Art - a really lovely little museum, probably the first time I've actually looked at and read every last thing in a museum. The cathedral was next door, and the necropolis rose on a hill behind that. Very calming and peaceful, those three together.
Walked to Sauchiehall Street Mall, admired the mob of film geeks queueing up to meet Quentin Tarantino.
Took the train to Edinburgh to get my bus, which stopped in Glasgow anyway, so that's 10 pounds wasted. Oh well.
On the bus, was joined by World's Most Annoying Man, who was so annoying, he may really have a screw loose. He was the foulest-mouthed person I've ever met, said that my being a teacher was "shite," ranted about Aussie and Kiwi bartenders, then ranted about Polish migrants and how he was the only one who could see it (huh?). When we arrived in Manchester, he said, "the faggots will be out on parade," so he ranted about gays as well. And although I said THREE TIMES that I needed to sleep, he kept ranting. Goodness.

Dear Annoying Man,
Be quiet. I do not care to hear about Poles, Australians, gays, or those "fucking moors" any more.
Sincerely,
Bob.

Day 12: Inverness - Glasgow

Today was the day when everything cost more than expected. Started with the bus to Urquhart Castle - was put on a Citylink bus instead of the cheaper Inverness City bus. Nevertheless, the scenery around Loch Ness is very pretty, lots of hills dotted with sheep and woodland. Urquhart Castle was neat, somehow moreso because it's all in ruins, unlike Stirling and Edinburgh.
Walked from the castle into Drumnadrochit, home of various Nessie paraphernalia. Very pleasant walk. In a shop, bumped into two Welsh ladies I had chatted to at the bus station in Inverness, who highly recommended a Nessie exhibition thing. I went, and it was the worst 5 pounds I ever spent. Blegh.
Stopped at a bakery for lunch, spent 4 pounds on a bloody ham sandwich. Went back to Inverness, got the train to Glasgow. Stressed about not having a room booked. Ended up in a giant place in an almost private room (four beds with ensuite). Am happy at end of a long and expensive day.
Almost forgot - the train from Inverness to Glasgow had the Scottish scenery I'd been hoping for - craggy peaks, rolling moorland, fields of purple heather. I could almost see Kate Bush spinning around, rattling on about Cathy and Heathcliff, even though that's Yorkshire, not Scotland.

Day 11: Aberdeen - Inverness

A relaxing day, through a slight mistake. Took the train to Inverness - much cheaper than Stirling - Aberdeen, oddly. Highlands not as high as I expected. Nevertheless, Inverness is really lovely. If their summer wasn't like our winter, I could certainly live here.
Found the hostel after much wandering and it's really lovely. Friendly cat.
Missed the bus to Loch Ness so wandered around town. Walked down the river, across forested Ness Islands and back. Everything is lovely.
Have the oddest dorm-mate ever; old Chinese man in room painting picture frames - he booked two beds, one to sleep on, one to lay out the drying frames. Doesn't speak a scrap of English. Very odd.

Day 10: Edinburgh - Aberdeen

Left the Crapola Hostel and trained up to Stirling. Very cute town - looks a lot smaller than 40,000. Another castle town, so more hills. Stirling Castle is much the same as Edinburgh, with less crowds and better views. Wanted to go to the William Wallace Monument, but the camera had died and it looked kind of far.
Took the train to Aberdeen, I think the lady overcharged me - 34.90 is a bit ridiculous!
Hostel in Aberdeen is quite a trek away, but nice. Creepy guy sleeping below me. Hope he doesn't stab me or eat my skin...

Day 9: Edinburgh

Got to Edinburgh early in the morning and made a bee-line to a hostel highly recommended in the LP. Turned out to be a real dive, but oh well. Walked past Holyrood - another of Lizzie's palaces - and around the Salisbury Crags for some lovely views. Did a spectacular face-plant, witnessed by a lady walking behind me who said "oh, I'm so sorry" a lot.
Walked to the castle. These castle towns are certainly hilly. Swarms of tourists and shops selling kilts and whiskey. The castle is pretty amazing - a lot more history than I have any grasp on, as usual. The Scottish Crown Jewels exhibition was silly - twenty minutes of dioramas and models, crawling along too bloody slowly, to see a crown and a sceptre in a box. Everything else was grand, though.
Went to the art gallery but was too tired to really appreciate it, as well as the dumbest museum ever - a museum dedicated to the Bank of Scotland. Why I do not know.
Wandered through Edinburgh a bit more. There's an awful lot here for a city the size of Woolongong. Combination of compactness, history, national capital, tourism, and culturedness. Woolongong has none of the above.
Also, there's an awful lot of punks here. I quite like the extreme-mullet haircut in particular; shaven head plus ponytail.

Day 8: London

Got an extra day in London 'cause of a late-night bus to Edinburgh. Spent it wandering through giant bookshops on Charing Cross Road, people-watching on Trafalgar Square, taking a peek at the National Portrait Gallery, and continuing to be dumbfounded by this enormous city.
Had quite an adventure trying to get to my bus. Once on the bus, the poor driver was confronted by two drunken Poles demanding to be let on. They were refused due to obvious drunkenness. After a lot of "fucking 30 quid" and "fuck this country," I was off to Scotland.

Day 7: London

All but a few lines of the Tube were off thanks to a strike, so it took some careful planning and lots of walking to get to the Natural History Museum. It was very fun, of course, all animal parts and skeletons and such. The case of various bird's feet was oddly amusing. Too many children to really enjoy the dinosaurs. One precocious four year-old accurately noted that "this looks like an ankylosaur."
Afterwards, we went to Harrod's. Most of the shop is just obscenely expensive and poncey, but in the foodhalls that becomes a wonderful thing. $150 for a kilo of venison, anyone? I should've bought a single prawn cocktail for 99p, just because. It's all a bit silly, really.
Walked through Hyde Park - with squirrels! - and Soho before having dinner at Covent Garden. London is unbelieveably huge and complicated. It's like the world's biggest onion, with layer after layer. And yes, I did steal the onion analogy from Shrek.

Day 6: London

Started at the Houses of Parliament - didn't actually go in - then begrudgingly shelled out 10 quid for Westminster Abbey. Was hoping to not have to pay for any sightseeing in London. Was glad I did. Westminster is gobsmackingly huge and ornate, full of smaller tombs and chapels and the like. Exploring each room, it feels as if a pinnacle of elaborateness and beauty is reached, only to be exceeded in the next room. Saw the tombs of Elizabeth I, Mary Queen of Scots and lots of IIIs, IVs, Vs etc I can't remember. There's a Poet's Corner, including a bust of Adam Lindsay Gordon, which was pretty awesome. Also the memorials to Charles Darwin and Alfred Wallace side by side - it's all just flabbergasting.
Walked along the Thames to the Tate Modern, which is gloriously weird. There's a program where various trendy bands are asked to choose an artwork and write a song inspired by it, which is then played on a listening post alongside said artwork. Would make a great CD, but alas, it has not been done.
Wandered back over the Millennium Bridge, through a curious park with lots of tombstones of people who died in acts of heroism, the remains of London's Roman wall, and finally to the massive Gherkin. Whatever the hell that thing is.

Day 5: London

First, went to the Camden market, which is equal parts trendies, hippies, punks and tourists. Wonderfully rambling, and more permanent than one expects a "market" to be. Pricey, but the Moroccan tajine I had for lunch was fabulous.
Next, the British Museum, which is as remarkable, astounding and whatever else as one could expect. Completely bloody amazing, the stuff they have in there. Alas, it's much too big to see in one go, and we missed a lot of Europe, Asia and the Americas, and all of Africa. Had a Thai dinner, bookended by tasty wheat beers in tiny pubs. Remarkably, London may actually have more pubs than Adelaide. Shocking, I know.

Day 4: London

LONDON!! was so wondrous and full of brilliance that I didn't have time to write about it at the time. There's certainly more to it than any other city besides possibly New York and Paris, I reckon. It's brilliant.
I had a couple of hours to spend upon arrival before meeting Chris, so I had a good wander about. Crossing the Jubilee Bridge, seeing Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament and the Eye on the other, I couldn't help grinning to myself like an idiot.
Met Chris, wandered through St James Park, Buckingham Palace (kinda grey and underwhelming), Piccadilly Circus, Leicester Square, St Paul's, Tower Bridge, and along the South Bank.
Went back to Chris's in Seven Kings, which is a very diverse neighbourhood. I think white folks are in the minority there.
Also, the Tube is great and has comfy seats, everything is bloody expensive and big mobs of tourists suck.